Healing from Nightmares, Sleep Paralysis, and Traumatic Dreams
By Penelope Ryder
My Story: When Dreams Become Problematic
For many survivors of childhood trauma, including childhood sexual abuse (CSA), nighttime doesn’t always bring rest. Instead, it becomes another space where the body and mind replay what was never safe to feel in daylight.
I was one of those children. I grew up in a home where abuse happened at the hands of a parent. From a very young age, I began to experience terrifying dream states—out-of-body episodes, visions of demonic figures, and sleep paralysis. I’d wake up frozen, unable to move, terrified and alone. This continued throughout my adult life.
At the time, I had no words for what was happening. I thought I was broken. Now I understand: those dreams were not madness—they were the nervous system in a state of survival, trying to process what I couldn’t make sense of in my childhood.
The Link Between Trauma and Night Terrors
What I’ve come to learn—through therapy, research, extensive reading and listening to others—is that these kinds of dream experiences are not uncommon among survivors of trauma. Especially CSA, or trauma from war and extreme early neglect.
People report:
Sleep paralysis
Nightmares of abuse repeating
Seeing “dark figures” or demonic images
Feeling like they're leaving their body
Dreams that feel more real than real life
These experiences aren’t “just dreams.” They are expressions of trauma that the body and psyche are trying to make sense of—when our conscious defences are finally down.
Why Medication Isn’t Always the Answer
In the past, I was offered medication to suppress the trauma. But I knew, deep down, that what I needed wasn’t suppression—it was integration. Numbing the dreams only increased my dissociation, making me feel even more disconnected from myself. I numbed them with alcohol from age 30 to age 46. I was afraid to remove alcohol as the out of bodies terrified me. I was at a point at age 46, knowing alcohol had to be binned. Thankfully, I stopped drinking and have no desire for alcohol 13 years later.
I became committed to understanding and working on the effects of the trauma I experienced. This was a long journey full of twists and turns. I was committed to meeting my dreams with curiosity rather than fear. I had no manual, only myself.
The path is complex, and each individual will have their path to figuring out how to improve their lives after having a devastating childhood. Sitting here now, I can tell you there are better days ahead when we work with ourselves, developing a healthy inner parent to our inner child. Pete Walker calls this “Reparenting”. For me, that was a major part of the work and coming to proper, rounded self-love, and it can sound like a cliche, however, it’s the way forward.
What Helped Me Begin Healing
Now, in my fifties, focusing on the dreams here, I’ve made a huge amount of peace with much of what once terrified me. My dreams still speak—but I no longer fear what they have to say. Here are a few of the practices that helped me reclaim my nights:
Understanding
Realising that my symptoms were normal responses to unbearable experiences helped ease the shame.
Journaling
I kept a gentle record of dream images, emotions, and physical sensations. It need not be every dream but the reoccuring ones are a good place to start. With work, these dreams change content. We can become the hero in our recurring dreams. Like in fairytales, where we banish the bad guy and we win the fight.
Bedtime Rituals
I created calming routines— a low night light with a timer, soft sounds, nice bed linen, cosy pillows and a lovely duvet, grounding breathwork, and herbal teas, magnesium glycinate which helps with sleep also.
Calling in Protection
Sometimes in bed, I’d invite in a guardian presence—like an angel, protection of a higher power, animal guide, or light around my bed. I also used a beautiful bible. Although I am not religious the bible I have by my bed speaks of purity and safety.
Affirmations of Safety
“I am in my adult body. I am safe now.” This simple truth anchored me in the present.
Trauma-Informed Therapy
I worked with a clinic and therapy, with someone trained in CSA recovery and somatic therapies was essential. That made all the difference.
Reading about trauma helped me immensely—that was my path, though it may not be for everyone. There are also many audiobooks you can fall asleep to, which can be a gentle support.
Even as a hypnotherapist, I still use a few YouTube hypnosis downloads to soften my sleep process. I set them on a timer. I also turn off all Wi-Fi at night now and put my phone on aeroplane mode—creating a safer, quieter sleep environment.
What I Want You to Know
If you're reading this and experiencing dream-related trauma, I want to say something very clearly:
We are all a work in progress.
You are not alone.
Your sleep dreams are not betraying you—they are trying to speak the unspeakable.
And you are strong. Incredibly strong. Just being here—surviving, healing, reading these words—means something is already changing inside you.
There Is Hope
You may not be able to control your dreams, but you can transform your relationship with them. We can, in time, reframe them so that the content changes to where we become empowered. I have had recurring dreams in the past that I no longer have.
There is a version of you—deep, ancient, wise—who knows the way back to safety. Who knows how to rest. How to return to the body, softly, gently, without fear.
If you need help with this and experience such, feel free to book a 20-minute free complimentary call with me by my booking link.
I am adding a few recommendations on books and a podcast that may assist in understanding the dream world and on reparenting and understanding Complex PTSD trauma.
The Inner World of Trauma by Donald Kalsched, a Jungian in Depth Psychology
Complex PTSD from Surviving to Thriving by Pete Walker
There is also a wonderful podcast on YouTube on dream analysis, Jungian. It is called This Jungian Life.