CSA & Exploitation
Before we begin, I want to reference the archetype of the crone…
This comes from Donald Kalsched’s book The Inner World of Trauma, where he describes archetypal forces in the psyche that act to protect the personal spirit during overwhelming trauma. The crone is one of these figures — she can appear terrifying or monstrous, but her role is containment and preservation of the self when the ego is not yet strong enough to face trauma directly.
I’m bringing this in because it helps explain what happens inside survivors of CSA when rage, fear, or reactivation of trauma appears. It’s not about excusing abusers or softening the reality of harm; it’s about naming the invisible inner work that has been happening all along.
What’s happening in your nervous system right now
The Epstein news is not just “news” to you. It is a re‑exposure to impunity, disbelief, powerful men not being stopped, and a system failing to protect girls.
That doesn’t just trigger memory. It reactivates the survival‑Self that came online when you were a child.
The intensity of your rage is not excessive. It is proportionate to the original violation.
Your body remembers:
They did whatever they wanted, and no one stopped them.
That is the deepest wound of CSA.
I’m also painfully aware of how the news/media cycle works. I don’t want this to become just another month of shock and commentary, before everything quietly goes back to the imaginary normal.
The reality is this is not just about Epstein or rich and powerful men. This is happening every day, all over the world, to children in their own homes, under the same roof, by people they know. That truth rarely gets sustained attention, accountability, or justice.
I’m sick of it. I’m sick of a system that allows this to continue. I’m sick of my own memories being reactivated while nothing fundamentally changes. I am full of rage, rage at the structures that protect abusers, minimise harm, and repeatedly fail children. I’ve had enough of the whole f**king lot.
The Crone: Guardian of the Spirit
In the inner world, the crone is an archetype that stands behind trauma, holding the “volcanic” energy of rage, fear, and survival-Self so the ego doesn’t collapse.
She appears monstrous because her work requires containment, withdrawal, and sometimes isolation. But her function is to protect the inviolable personal spirit, the part of you that cannot be destroyed, even in the face of unimaginable abuse.
How the Crone Works in Your Life
1. CSA / Original Trauma
• Survival-Self activated to protect your spirit
• Nervous system adapted to survive, through hypervigilance, dissociation, or containment
2. The Crone
• Holds the raw, volcanic energy safely until your ego is strong enough to process it
3. Survival-Self / Volcanic Energy
• Rage, fear, and reactivated trauma
• Triggered now by events like the Epstein news
• Evidence that your inner crone has kept your spirit alive and intact
4. Compassion: External and Internal
• External: a therapist, ally, or symbolic “good crone” can temporarily hold and validate your rage
• Internal: self-compassion lets your ego contain and integrate the survival-Self safely
5. Facing the Evil / Healing Begins
• Once the ego can hold the dark energy, rage dissipates without self-harm
• Integration, wholeness, and reclaiming personal agency follow
The Inner Arc
The inner arc can be understood as a sequence of steps:
It begins with CSA and the activation of the survival-Self. The crone then contains the volcanic energy of rage and fear until the ego is strong enough to face it. External compassion from a therapist, ally, or symbolic “good crone” that temporarily holds and validates this energy. With that support, the ego internalises self-compassion, allowing it to integrate the survival-Self safely. Finally, when the rage and trauma can be confronted without overwhelming the ego, healing begins, integration occurs, and a sense of wholeness is gradually restored.
A Note to Readers
If you recognise your own survival-Self, your rage, your volcanic energy, know this: it is real, justified, and proportionate. The crone inside you has been holding your spirit safe all along, even when it felt unbearable.
The next step is not to minimise or suppress your feelings, but to hold them with self-compassion, witness your experience, and reclaim your agency. Healing begins when the rage can exist without destroying you, when your spirit, your survival-Self, and your ego can coexist in safety and clarity.
I hope this helps somebody out there who’s been reactivated to know that they’re not alone. The unfortunate reality is that in the UK, one in four girls and, likely far more than reported, boys experience CSA. The Truth Project mention 1 in 20, and I do not feel this figure is helpful and that boys/men are less likely to disclose this type of abuse. This is not just a statistic; it is a reflection of lives violated, often repeatedly. I hope that we begin to confront this horrible crime against children in a meaningful way, so that abuse is recognised as completely unacceptable and the cycle of repetition is stopped. We reclaim our agency by working together on this, by continuing to speak up, and by not keeping this hidden. Only then can we begin to create a world in which children are truly safe and protected.
I’m not sure who the artist is, but this image speaks to me of hope and grace. My wish is that all who have been harmed find the courage to reclaim their agency and create as beautiful a life as possible. It reminds me of what Donald Kalsched writes at the end of his book: when both the good and the difficult parts of the self can be held with compassion, the crone “comes happily down into the world and makes it a beautiful place in which to live.” May that be our path too.